But what is the worth of patience really?

Patience is always attributed to the wise. In the stories of the legends, the main character or the hero typically seems calm and more composed than his other fellow men. Or in a tense football knockout match, the best players that win the match eventually seem to be calmer and aware of what they are doing despite the odds going against them.

In some way or other, we inherently know that the ones that look or seem to be patient are the ones with the capabilities or potential or at least the ones with a game plan! They can pull off a task that appears daunting to others.

The question that arises is what made them convinced of the victory? Or if not of victory, what brought about the sense of calm in them? Why were they not elated on initial successes like the rest? Does delaying gratification play such a big role? Let’s dive in cogently!

In 1972, Walter Mischel, a professor of Psychology at Stanford University conducted the famous Marshmellow experiment. He and some of his colleagues gathered children about the age of 5. They presented them with 2 treats, but with a little scenario. A treat was kept on the table and the kids were told that they were free to eat one treat when they wished. However, if they were able to wait for 15 minutes, they could get another one, i.e., 2 treats in total. Once instructed, the kids were left alone only with their cute little consciousnesses.

And then they watched. Some kids ate the treat within few minutes of resistance, some gave up almost waiting for more than half of the time. Some waited, indulging in other activities or simply taking a short nap, while some just poised, waiting for the promised reward. And very well they were given the promised reward! Now, there are several other aspects of this experiment, which you can read here or research online.

But the main takeaway from this experiment appeared several years later. The experiment though ended, the researchers followed up on the lives of these kids as they turned teens and then into adults. Here, they found a high degree of correlation between their activities in the experiment and the level of competency and academic progress!

Those that waited and delayed eating the first sweet successfully for 15 minutes were found to do significantly better in their academics than the ones who couldn’t wait!

This probably explains that delayed gratification is indeed an attribute that strongly correlates with the people, let’s say, who are more successful. Look around you. The ones leading a meaningful life, even by your standards, have time and time again shown incredible patience in various phases of their lives.

The ones that continued physical training after 2 weeks of no observable results are the ones that eventually observed the results! The people who pursued a graduation program instead of falling for the gratification of quick money earning opportunities, on many days had to strive for nothing visible.

Let’s say, in the adult version of the Marshmellow experiment, no one tells you about the time limit or assurance of the reward. But this is where the real test of a person’s endurance and patience happens. The decision of indulging in reading a book over Netflix and chill, even for an hour requires some amount of sacrifice of instant gratification.

 No one tells you or even nothing significantly changes after this one hour and it all comes down to just a matter of choice. On one path the obstacles just seem to be more and taking it could very well mean striving for no immediate returns.

But if the difficult path promises great returns in the long run, then it makes complete sense to sacrifice the immediate reward. In this context, then it seems that patience has a certain worth, which has the potential to compound over the years. This also means that putting off even a day means a compounded loss and missing your life trajectory by a thousand miles.

The most amazing thing is that you already know taking which path today means being content with the ‘single treat’ and which path leads to multiplying these treats! It all boils down to being your own experimenter and regulator, where you want to direct your trajectory and how much you are willing to sacrifice. To be patient and play for the long game undeterred by the temporary defeats or intractable successes.

Honestly, you are either sacrificing today or you are going to sacrifice tomorrow! The best part of it? You get to choose!