Spices and India are inseparable. Almost every family has their own traditional and customized versions of spices or more specifically masalas. So was the masala made by my grandmother. Unique and special, I brought it along to Germany.
In the earlier months, I used this special masala with indifference. It was only when I did not use the masala, did I realize its specialness! Soon I started taking note of carefully using it. And very soon enough, I used it only on special occasions.
A few months later, unfortunately, my grandma passed away. The next time I was about to cook and saw the special masala, it seemed like gold dust to me.
There was probably never going to be a masala of this grade and certainly not made by grandma. I decided to use it only when my closest friends would arrive and I’d cook for them. Sure enough, turn by turn, all the closest friends had their share except one.
I invited this friend time and time again, but there seemed to be always something in the way. Months passed by, I made sure I was saving the masala only for this friend now. Soon a year went by. And then a few months more. The masala stayed untouched.
One day when I just opened the masala container’s lid to take a look, something had changed. The magnificent aroma blast that usually occurred after opening the lid was no longer present. I was flabbergasted as this could also mean my smell-sensation was gone (crazy covid-19 times)! But no, I was not infected.
It was the masala that had lost its aroma!
I sniffed in harder, didn’t work. Taken aback, I was sad and then angry. Angry at my friend for being so inconsiderate. Even with the most genuine and unfortunate circumstances, to not be able to find time even for an hour or two in 1.5 years for free cooked food made not much of a logical sense.
While I was huffing and puffing with the thoughts of “Probably there was never any intent to visit, right? … could have just said so…”, a doorbell ring broke me out of the loop.
It was just the DHL post, nothing related but good enough to break my fuming anger loop.
I asked myself, “Why am I angry now?” Because the spice lost its aroma? And I actually felt it? Did it lose its aroma overnight? Nope.
Did I know that spices/masalas lose their aroma if left unused for long? Yes, I did.
And when all was known, what stopped me from using the masala? A desire for this friend to taste it. And did this friend stop me from using the masala? Nope. It was me who stopped myself.
As soon as this realization struck me, that it was me who was responsible for the grandma’s last homemade masala to lose its aroma, it changed my perspective.
I was no longer angry, neither on my friend nor myself. But I was a wiser man at the sacrifice of the masala!
I was being patient, waiting for the friend to take their time to have a taste of it. In the process, I took the masala’s life for granted! This made me quickly think about the other aspects of my life.
At least in the case of masala, I was able to see it daily; which other elements, people or things alike were I taking for granted? Was I waiting for someone or something to happen, patiently from my side, but an element that was around me or even part of me losing its value in the process?
Unsettled? I certainly was at that moment. I would invite you to take some time and ponder over it. The special crockery that you keep safely covered inside the kitchen racks loses its value as you continue to wait for occasions.
What else are you waiting for? Waiting for someone to realize your feelings for them? Or waiting for someone to respect you and your decisions, your qualifications? Waiting for your boss to realize your worth?
And are you losing something valuable that’s part of you?
Yes, something you think that you own, but while doing so, underutilizing and robbing away an opportunity from the world to see the best version that can emerge from you?
Robbing a partner from someone who could actually value and grow because of you? Robbing an organization of valuable work because you are patiently waiting for the old one to realize your value? And maybe, in the end, robbing the dignity of yourself?
The real sacrifice a person can make is by taking care of themselves so that they can deliver the best to others when the time comes. And by taking care, I mean to value their own skills, their time and in the end their selves.
Patience is definitely one of the virtues, but it needs to be practised along with objective judgement and willing acceptance. So that, in the pursuit of patience you don’t devalue something.
Only after the masala lost its aroma, did this scent of wisdom enter my mind!
Take time today to look around you and in the end, at the person in front of the mirror. Trade your value responsibly.
I feel like too often we find ourselfes in loops of basically unreasonable behaviour and this is mostly caused by rules applied to us by society, family, culture or even by ourself (like you not using the special masala because you wait for a friend, who might not even value it as much as you do). This feels like being trapped in some sence, that something bothers you, but you haven’t yet realized, what the real issue is. I am sorry for your spices, but I am very happy you had this valuable insight and shared it with us!
Wonderfully written. Could relate a lot, since I was confused between thoughts from many days, reading this and seeing from a different perspective have cleared my mind to decide on a firm decision. Next time may be use the masala for yourself or person available rather than waiting. All the best for future writings.