Resolutions for the new year? Cliché, isn’t it? The most cliched depiction of this cliché is that of buzzing gyms in the first week of the new year followed by reduced crowds.
Many make new resolutions, that seem nothing less than wishful thinking. But many more take pride in mocking those who make these resolutions. The reason? “Well, the noobs would do it for a week or two and then quit, that’s the truth of new year resolutions!”. And many go even further to declare, “… and that’s why I don’t believe in new year resolutions. Nor should you!”
But what is the reality of the resolutions made? Isn’t it true that for most, the resolutions made at the beginning of the year simply fade away? Unfortunately, it is.
Many think of new year resolutions as whispering into the genie’s ear; say it once and aloha, it would be granted. Of course, they are granted, with disappointment.
But some of the new year ‘resolutionistas’ do take efforts to live up to their resolutions. And even with that grit, they don’t reach the desired results. Long story short, they also fail.
All this indicates that indeed the new year resolutions are myths, isn’t it? The naysayers weren’t wrong after all. Or were they?
The answer lies in the details.
When someone makes new year resolutions, they set the conditions for their success or failure. To be more precise, they define what success would mean to them. They seem to have failed if they don’t reach their definition of success.
But does that make the ones who never set any resolutions successful? Well, the onlooker even in the Olympic sprints never wins or loses any race. The rule is simple, if you don’t participate, you never lose. There is no responsibility, no one to report your progress to, no ‘pressure’ of expectations to live up to. That’s true freedom or?
The little difference between watching the Olympics and living life is that, in the latter participation is obligatory. Whether you define success or not, you never stay in the same place or even the same person at the end of the year. And just because you don’t define the terms for failure, doesn’t mean you don’t fail.
However, the point of this blog is not about arguing whether one should make resolutions or not. It is rather about how can one stick to the resolutions if one at all decides to make them!
Making resolutions is not the same as dreaming
Thoughts travel faster than anything. We can be travelling places, trading ideas and fantasizing in a jiffy. However, this quality of our brain doesn’t help while making resolutions. Just because you feel something at a moment doesn’t mean it is something you want.
One of the most common fallacies is to mistake a wish for a resolution. If you don’t need something, why would you make any more efforts than the bare minimum? It’s more like ‘sure I’d like to have the ice cream if it’s there in the refrigerator…’ This means if there’s no ice cream in the refrigerator, you won’t make any effort to get a new one.
Taking time to identify whether you want something is an important step before setting up resolutions. Half the battle is won when you want to win it.
Creating a consistent reminder
If drinking more water is the goal, you are more likely to take a sip if you find a filled glass of water near you. Similarly, if running is the goal, keeping the pair of running shoes in the sight is more likely to trigger you into running. James Clear has written precisely in his book Atomic Habits on the major impact of the cue on our habits.
Take special efforts to ensure how you are going to make yourself reminded of the resolution. A gentle reminder in the calendar or a daily reminder at a certain time for meditation can do wonders! Most of the time, we are just lazy and a little external push can provide the perfect cue we need to get started with doing what we intended originally!
Avoid getting attached to streaks
Who doesn’t love 100 days of an uninterrupted streak of any activity? Be it a 100 days coding challenge or a 365 days streak of meditation, we can’t stop craving for them. But how many of us can hold on to it?
Honestly, not much is changed if the streak is broken. If you code for 20 days straight in a month or code intermittently 20 times in another month, there isn’t much difference. But our tendency to cherish the streaks over everything makes things worse. If we miss out on a single day due to avoidable or unavoidable circumstances, we don’t see any point in continuing with the activity further. “What’s the point? The streak was broken…” The attachment to streaks can immediately break us down to the point where we simply stop persisting any further. Gym? Meditation? Jogging? Breaking a bad habit? You name it.
Play percentage game instead. If you missed even 2 days of a week for meditation, you did it for 5 days. That means you did it 71% for the week and that’s not bad at all! Not bad to discontinue meditation from the next week.
Thinking in percentages helps you take a look at the situation more factually instead of viewing it through some perception.
Anticipating soulless days
How many times does it happen that you are well on to a committed goal, for a decent amount of time but then comes a day… A day when you get up in the morning or get back home from work, and you see no reason to do anything at all. You understand what your goals mean to you, but yet you can’t find the motivation to get going. You don’t want to listen to any piece of advice, nor do you want to have a conversation with yourself about anything.
These are the inevitable soulless days. To fight them is a challenge in itself. More often than not, letting them pass through you instead of fighting them helps get over them quickly! Just as randomly they pop in, they will pop out; provided you keep the cues surrounding you to get back into action 😉
In the end, whether the resolutions are made on the eve of a new year, birthday or any other occasion, it doesn’t make a difference. The real difference happens only when the resolutions are followed up to their fruition. A few adjustments can help you reach a longer distance on your resolutions!
A part of what I want this year is to read more – anything like for example this blog when I get the mail. Amazing how I find myself reading the article about new years resolutions 2 months later 😅.
Better late then never I guess.
And for James Clear: I immediately had a smile on my face when I read your text about him. Great text!