The art of distancing yourself: The sailor and the ship

When we meet strangers or acquaintances, we greet them. We ask our beloved ones; ‘How they are doing?’ for the simple reason of our affection for them. We take timely care of our pets, we take care of our plants and garden, checking whether they are watered, sprayed with fertilizers properly. We even go so far as to check on the maintenance of our automobiles and our houses!

But do we ever ask ourselves, ever;

“How are you doing?” or “What are you feeling?” or “What is it that is unsettling you?”

Well, honestly, nope. Most of us don’t.

If one is asked so as who they think is the person taken for granted mostly? The many answers would be, the grandparents, parents, neighbours, pets or even the little eggplant in the garden. But rarely would the person say, that the person himself/herself could perhaps be the most neglected or the one who’s taken for granted. In fact, this in itself proves how much the person takes himself/herself so much for granted!

But when people are pointed out, that perhaps they, themselves could be the most neglected or the ones on their own lowest priority, then most of them do agree unanimously!

So, what are the usual consequences of when we take someone for granted?

The person at the receiving end feels unwanted. He/she eventually comprehends that his/her service and feelings are no longer required or appreciated. This, in turn eventually leads to a waning of the relationship itself.

Exactly in the same way, when we begin ignoring ourselves, we begin distancing from ourselves! What does that mean? It means that although being a single identity, we are in fact two entities.  

When we begin looking at ourselves like a separate, different entity; we immediately begin understanding our unjust behaviour towards ourselves!

Like a sailor, no matter how ambitious or brave he is, he has to take care of his ship if he has to travel across the seas.

But what does it mean to take care of us?

Well, prioritize yourself. We are quick to focus on what we want to achieve but we don’t take the time and effort to consider whether our mind is ready to take on the new challenge and we almost always expect it to be ever-ready. We don’t mind going the extra mile while stressing out ourselves and yet audaciously expect our mind to function efficiently. How ridiculous! But we’ve all been there.

Well, if you want your ship (mind) to make it across the vast & rough seas, you’d need to take efforts to do the timely maintenance & repairs. In the same way, take efforts to know yourself. What are the qualities needed to achieve the particular task you aim for? Is your mind prepared or trained enough to achieve it? Don’t just expect it to learn things miraculously & perform flawlessly in the act! Start breaking down the small changes you need to make i.e. turn into a habit to reach that level of excellence! Let your mind take its time to habituate. Reward it with appropriate returns.

What does that mean? Say, you set a small target or challenge for the day, and you achieve it. Then your mind has earned the right to be rewarded. Rewarding your mind would be, letting it do the activities it (YOU) take pleasure in doing!

This is not a waste of time. This is the required boost your mind demands to recharge & stay focussed for another day. Remember, the best sailors the world has seen didn’t become the best because they had the fastest or the biggest or the most modern ships. They were what they were because their ships endured throughout the whole journey. And they endured because their sailor-captains cared for their well-being throughout the journey!