The priceless gift of Attention

Let’s accept that there is great joy in receiving a gift. From the favourite toy that we received on our birthday when we were children to the elegant gift of flowers on a date, we feel special and valued. But as we continue to gather experiences in life, the more we realise that there is much greater joy in gifting than in receiving. Needless to say, the more important the person is to us, the greater is the urge and better is the gift!

When it comes to evaluating the worth of a gift, a sensible parameter would be to assess the sacrifice involved in doing so. The higher the sacrifice, the greater the value. However, if a 6-figure businessman gifts a car to his child on his 18th birthday or a person that saved 10 bucks every month for six months to buy his child a library membership card; we can’t say whose gift is more valuable. There is rather no need to compare here but understand that the gift is of relative value to the receiver as well as the giver.

But then how can we still assess the quality of the gift we are giving? Can there be some gift better than another, even by our own relative evaluations? Something that could still stand out eventually as one of the most valuable of gifts? Let’s dive in cogently.

If we really want to dig down into what could be valuable for everyone, we need to find what has the potential to affect everyone equally. A gift of good food at a classy restaurant? Umm okay. A gift of a trip to paradise islands? Well, sounds good. A gift of money? Yeah, why not! A gift of time that will never return? Yes. Yes sir! And what could be a better answer than time?

All the other mentioned gifts are linked with the thread of time. More precisely, it’s the span of attention that you paid when you gifted that person. Let alone the gift, it’s the mere thought of gifting and the attention it demanded and which you gave, is the greatest of all the gifts.

Now, why are we stressing the gift of attention and how does it affect everyone around us? More importantly, how does it affect ourselves?

For every action we do, we expend some energy. From brushing our teeth to heavy backlifts and from turning on the light switch to sending spaceships in the space; every action needs our energy. Of course, each task requires a different amount of energy and consequently requires a different level of attention.

Now it is by the rule of nature that we tend to save our energy in the best possible manner as we can. To do so, we switch our ‘autopilot mode’ on for as many tasks as possible. The more repetitive the task, the less attention it demands and hence less energy to execute. No wonder you require the least attention turning on a lamp whereas a slight disruption in attention during a brain surgery from a neurosurgeon can mean death for the patient.

The main gist of this entire energy-attention saga is that attention is not unlimited.

If you are paying attention to one task, you aren’t to the rest. And the birth of every action is in the attention it received. This very fact makes the attention we pay a backbone of literally everything we do and yet the resource of it remains limited. Something as fundamental as attention makes it a priceless resource to expend. And remember, the greater the sacrifice, the higher the value of the gift!

Every time you pick up your phone to message or call someone, you are gifting them a part of this priceless gift. The time you decide to spend with your family, your friends or your acquaintances is a gift given away. The activity you decide to do; be it physical training, reading of a book, new skill you decide to learn are also consuming your priceless resource.

Similarly, the wild getaways, the randomly formed plans, the decision to attend to every notification on your phone, every event that is happening, the gossip you involve yourself in and also the scandals and affairs of politics or cinema (which you probably have very less to do with); you gift your resource of attention.

Now it would be foolish to ask, whether you should strive to keep or to give this gift away. A gift is a gift only when it is being given or received.

A few better questions to ask yourself would be, ‘Are you aware of whom you are gifting this priceless gift?’ ‘Are you gifting them whom you want to? Or are you just bleeding away this resource to every stimulus you receive?’

Also while receiving this gift, are you grateful enough? The very decision that a person made to contact you, spend time with you or even think about you, is the most priceless gift given to you. Are you making the most of that gift that will never return to you in the same form?

It is not very hard to comprehend what you’ll remember more in your final hour. The moments spent with your loved ones and the achievements that made you proud of yourself. And these require you to choose where you decide to gift and how you choose to receive this beautiful gift of attention.

It’s a choice and always will be!