Finding meaning at midnight: A revelation

‘Finding meaning in life.’ When someone says something along these lines, most of us generally get confused. What does one even make of it? Either we think, “Okay here goes a serious philosophical discussion…” or we simply dismiss claiming, “Ah here we go, yet another lad who wants to initiate a shallow discussion. A wannabe…”

Probably we have experienced both incidences at some point in our lives. I certainly have been in both of the camps. But recently I’ve also experienced an incident, where no one discussed the meaning of life with me, but instead ‘the meaning’ itself hit me, really unexpectedly.

I was travelling back to Nuremberg from Siegen via Frankfurt. It was a night journey and a halt of 2 hours at Frankfurt from 12 am to 2 am. It was already 3°C but felt like -1°C, courtesy of the weather app. While I was waiting at the bus stop thinking what should I do in these 2 hours, I didn’t have much time to think as it was getting shiveringly cold. Waiting was not an option. I had no idea or plans to spend the next two hours but I was compelled to move around. At least that way I could stay warm.

I wasn’t alone but there weren’t many people either. On one of the benches, I saw a group of 3 friends chatting and sharing a cigarette. Just behind their bench, sat an old man looking gleefully at these 3 guys and more importantly, at the cigarette. For some reason, I wanted to keep watching the guys and the old man.

No more than 2 minutes had passed, the old man got up and went to the 3 guys. After a short conversation, he joined the guys with the same cigarette. But there was one little change from before. The 3 friends and the old man, whatever they were discussing, had a bright smile which soon turned into rounds of loud laughter. This in turn brought a smile to my lips. Indeed, a satisfying moment!

But it didn’t make me warm and so I decided to move on. Never had I explored the streets of Frankfurt and not at midnight. So, I decided to circle the area around the central station. Soon I reached another corner where a young woman kept circling the bench talking on her mobile phone.

Although my German is still not good enough to understand everything, I could still understand the context and some of the sentences very clearly. (Oh yes, apologies for eavesdropping but there was no other sound, so it was obvious!) The person on the other side of the conversation seemed to be her boyfriend/partner/husband. But the sentence I certainly remember was, “I can’t sleep here, it’s too cold! You have to keep listening to me!”

Very cheeky. But that again brought a smile to my face. Reasons? Unknown.

I hadn’t walked long, soon I encountered homeless people sleeping wrapping themselves with warm blankets as they could. Then I remembered that one of my best friends was having a night shift for his job. I called him and we started talking about everything and anything that occurred in our minds.

While I did, I kept walking to and fro on the same street. There happened to be two friends or acquaintances drinking beers. They were warm enough to sit down on the footpath! They were speaking a language that I could not recognize (definitely not German). But one of the two guys said a word and then kicked the other one not very gently but also not in a way to seem like full-fledged fighting.

At first, I considered changing the street but then I noticed they both started laughing after the kick. And then within a few seconds, again the first guy said the same word and kicked him again. The laughter only grew louder this time. It repeated a few seconds later. I still have no idea what that was about but it surely brought a smile to my face as well.

I continued talking with my friend and decided to enter the train station, hoping it would be warmer there. There I saw a few passengers waiting for their next train, only a few were awake. The others who were sleeping packed themselves up in warm jackets and fluffy woollen shawls. But there was one family that caught my eye.

It was a couple with their daughter around 3-5 years old. All of them were asleep wrapped by a single shawl. The father was barely covered by shawl but the little one was wrapped up completely. She was also in the centre getting warmth from both. They were inside the train station and mind you it is a requirement to wear a mask (covid-19). The Deutsche Bahn (DB) inspectors were of course on their duty checking for any unexpected or let’s say, patrolling to maintain law and order.

When they walked towards the passengers, I was not sure if they were going to do something about this. A voice inside me didn’t want the sleeping family to have any problems. But the inspectors just took a look and then went away. I felt relieved and then happy. No one saw me smiling except me. 🙂 Maybe the inspectors forgot to notice, maybe they didn’t and just let them be.

By now, I had stopped talking with my friend. I was wide awake and went back to the bus stop. I had a flurry of questions circling within my mind after all I had observed.

Could I face the situation or the need to sleep on the streets in cold? Was it the cigarette that made the old man and the young guys come together and share a laugh? Or was it the cold?

Do I have a person in my life who wants to converse with me because they need to be busy fighting cold? Or am I that person for someone?

Is there a bond with someone where even in kicking each other, we could find a reason for a laugh? Was it the cold that made them pick up the mode of entertainment that they did?

Why did the DB authorities let the sleeping family alone? Did the scarcity of shawls bring the family together? Moreover, why was I rejoiced to see them being left alone peacefully? Can I be like that man who sacrificed his share of shawl for his family?

I had very few answers. But I saw one common factor that sewed all the incidents. It was cold.

Right from bringing a family together in a shawl to bonding an old man with youngsters; from calling a loved one to kicking each other playfully; from me worrying about the cold to having a smile on my face. Wasn’t it all that I saw already there? And it was the cold that made me see it?

I want to ask you. What is the cold in your life at the moment? And no doubt you are upset about its existence and interference in your life. But is it trying to teach you something? Is it compelling you to take action? Is this suffering bringing meaning, a purpose to your life?

Think about it. And yes, you are welcome. 😉